Sunday Back Talk

So, let us take a moment and look at someone who had a VERY bad back. Yes, It's JFK. JFK had severe chronic back pain. He could not climb the stairs at times and could not put on his own socks. In one of the biographies I read of him JFK had 9 hospitalizations for back issues while he was President. At one point he had a Dr. who gave him shots of amphetamines. His brother Bobby disapproved but JFK said "I don't care if it's horse piss if it works."
  There you have it. One will go to most any lengths to get rid of pain. I totally understand.

   This weekend I am trying a new pill. It is an anti-inflmmatory used for arthritus sufferers. I am cautiosly optomistic that it seems to be helping. I can put weight on my leg with out feeling searing pain run up and down . ...that's good.

I dream of being able to do this:

thursday's backtalk

Well, today my back is not happy. I took my vicodan, ate my breakfast, put on my lidoderm patches and when I sat down my sicatica flared up . What's with that? The nerves seem to have their own agenda. I hobble when I walk the dog. I need to find some school papers in a box. I imagine I look like this>

Unfortunately for all, I do not. I have found that I can fill and empty the dish washer if I kneel on the floor. I mean what am I gonna do ?. My husband, bless his heart, already does all the cooking. He is a real nurturer. Thank God, Without him I'd be in a bed eating peanut butter sandwiches day after day.

I imagine that I can do this>  Huh!

Then I think how lucky I am . It could be a few hundred years ago and I could be part of a tribe that cannot take care of their feeble and pathetic. I could be left on an ice flow to die. That sounds pretty miserable.

My pain management doctor told me this morning that it might be just a year until there is a sealant that I can have injected into the defective disc and it will cure me. Only a year! and then maybe I can do that (above). I need to just perservere and hope for the best.

Let's talk about the drugs...

Of course there are drugs involved with trying to manage this back pain. Anyone who tells you they get along fine without any is a) lying or b) does't have the kind of back pain I do. Before this episode in my life I was not a big drug user. Yes, the lipitor, the baby aspirin, the low thyroid pill but not any of the heavy stuff. And I must say I always was a bit  intolerant of people who "got addicted to pain killers" Yeah, right I thought. That sounds like a good excuse to feel loopy.
  But now it is another story. I would not feel pain if I lay down all day and all night. But getting up requires pressure put in bad places and the pain I have felt is breathe taking. So, I've taken advil until I was getting an ulcer (8 a  day for 6 months) and vicodan for 6 months but nothing absolutley blocks it out. I've taken them together, I wear lidoderm patches and I honestly dont' know what to do next. I need to be on my feet to work. So, it 's a conundrum.

Monday Back Talk

  Today I had my web designer come over to talk about a web page for my artwork. It's very exciting to me. Thank Goodness I am not a gymnist, or marathon runner, or mountain climber, or bicycle racer...you get the idea. I am so lucky that my art passion involves me being able to sit and work and I can sit in stages. I have discovered that having back problems means that I need to pay attention to timing . After I take my meds I can work successfully for a while...these poor spineless creatures above cannot do that!

But why me?

So, as in anthing that happens to us in life we ask: why me? I sat with the Dr. and asked "who gets annular tears?" "Well, " he replied. "usually football players... or people who are in car accidents...or there actually is a strong genetic component."

"Really" said I . "My mother's side of the family pretty much all have bad backs. " Now . I'm thinking why this could be...and it occured to me that my Great grandparents were first cousins..Yep, first cousins. Yuch, I know I thought when I found out.That in itself is creepy but if both of them had weak backs...there's that bad back gene. Yet another reason to not marry one's first cousin. Though by now it may be illegal, do you think?

Everthing has a spine...sort of

  Everything has a spine I think. Dogs have spines

Cats have spines.

This dog has  a very long spine indeed.

Once Upon a time...

Once upon a time (about 1 year ago) I was a carefee walker, leaper, hopper, jumper. I walked the dog, hopped over squashed bugs on the floor, leaped to avoid falling branches of trees. There was no end to my flexibility. To be honest, my first ballet teacher told me in a loud voice (that the whole class heard) "You vill never be good at ballet, you are too stiff and your back is too long" . That was when I was 10 years old. But no mind.

A year ago something happened and I was suddenly in pain... excruciating pain. It went from my back down my leg. I could not quite fathom that the outside of me looked fine because there was obviously something very wrong. I called my sometimes-go -to -but -never-again acupuncturist. I limped my way to the office. Was stuck with needles. And limped out. Still in pain. "Come back next week" She trilled. Never.

My regular Dr. sent me to a physical therapist. He had me do exercises of many kinds , none of which helped in the least . I went for 3 months though. Limping in and out. After that my Dr. sent me to an orthopaedic Dr. This quiet small man, told me that I needed an MRI and when he looked at it he said it was something with a disc and I should try epidural shots in my spine. So I did, 3 of them. They of course did not work  I went to a surgeon who told me quite abrubtly that there was nothing he could do for me. That I was the worst kind of patient.That surgery would be like sewing together 2 pieces of rotten cloth. There's a image for ya!

Finally, I went to a Pain Management Dr. This Dr. was very nice and spent a whole hour with me and for the first time in 9 months explained that I had a tear in my disc. That is would never heal on its own. That it was hellish pain and that no narcotic in the world would help. In fact he had over 100 patients with annular tears that he could do nothing for. Hmm! A lot to swallow.

So,  I went back to my faithful  regular Dr. and she perscribed some vicodan so I could actually go to work , walk the dog, and not be in constant agony. And here I am today.

Before and After

This is me before my torn disc! Minus the dark bouncy hair and the big boobs and tiny waist and slender gut. But it must have been like I felt. I bounced out of bed in the morning. Couldn't wait to see what the day would hold!. I am a somewhat more than middle aged art teacher and artist. I am very busy with projects and moving hither and thither. Wait! That was until THE TEAR.

Now I look a bit more like this. How could it be? Is this a fairy tale gone bad?

Sunday Back Talk

Welcome to my site! I have an annular tear in a lumbar disc in my back. My pain management Dr. Says that he has 110 patients with this particular situation. I know none of them. So this site is for me to talk and perhaps listen to any others of you out there who have a tear. What do you do about it? How did it happen? This is not a term I had ever heard of in my middle aged life and low and behold a lot of my life now centers around this little tear in a disc in my back.