Pain....

  So, I have not had anything much to write. I wake up moving as though I were 100 years old. I take my pills which don't work too well anymore. I put on patches of lidoderm to calm the inflamed nerves below the skin. I try to plan my life around my pain.
  I go to work. Sometimes it is like girding myself for battle with drugs and patches and bandages, I will even wear a girdle some days to pretend it is going to help. I love my job ...But after I get home I lie with an ice pack on my back and leg. I go to bed at 7:00 so I can lie flat on my firm mattress. I read. I sleep. And start again.
  I am going to go in NYC to meet with another Dr. I just need some coroberation that indeed there is nothing I can do to stop this pain. I believe the Dr. I went to here is honest. I just find it hard to live with what he said. Every day is a struggle to dress, to stand , to sit. to walk.

  When I lie flat at 7:00 at night I am greatful that I do not have small children who would want my attention. I am happy to have my little dog with me and my books to read. I am thrilled my husband does most every thing that needs to be done ...I am lucky.